Doctor Who: The Twin Dilemma (1984)

Remembered as among the worst Doctor Who serials, this mixes an old hat-ish story with the hit-or-miss debut of the least successful of the Doctors. Episode One cuts between set-up involving twin maths geniuses (very badly played), a future human civilisation in the outer planets, an invading bunch of avian baddies with a rubber slug mastermind and a mystery man (Maurice Denham) who turns out to be a Time Lord and scenes in the TARDIS with Colin Baker showing his mood swings from arrogant dissing of his immediate predecessor to shrinking panic under a coatrack and bewildering shrill companion Peri (Nicola Bryant), whom he even attempts to strangle at one point. The plots only intersect just before the cliffhanger, and then the whole regeneration thing on hold while the Doctor dashes around, discovering that Denham used to be his favourite teacher and helping out in familiar fashion.

Clearly, the show was trying to get through a tough patch and most Doctors (except Troughton and Pertwee) didn't get a hit first time out, but it's almost as if Baker is being sabotaged - not only is he stuck with a half-baked script that typifies the worst of Who in this era (cutaways to rubber-masked goons exchanging dull dialogue) but also gets that particoloured costume, a serious mistake that (along with his spells of madness) means we take this Doctor as just a patchwork of the previous ones, with little of his own to bring to the role (where Peter Davison wore celery, Baker has cat-badges). It made sense after the humane Davison to play up the Doctor's alienness, but he seems all too human, just in a negative way - vain, abusive, silly. It's hard to tell whether it was miscasting or misfortune, but Baker didn't work - though even with any of the other Doctors, few of his stories would have been worth watching. That garish outfit also prompts the rest of the show to panto excess - Bryant wears '80s outfits Traci Lords would have rejected as too blatant, and the supporting cast are stuck with hideous cellophane-look future fab gear and décor to match.
KIM NEWMAN

First published in this form here.


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