The Case of the Full Moon Murders (1974)

After he produced Last House on the Left, Sean S. Cunningham produced and co-directed (with Brad Talbot) this jokey vampire sex film - it uses actors known for their X-rated work (like the legendary Harry Reems) and was explicit enough to lose much of its running time for the BBFC-certificated version, but seems always to have been a softcore picture. In a parody of Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat, Emma (Sheila Stuart) is a confused young woman who learns that her physical peculiarities mean she can only satisfy herself by fellating guys: whereas Linda had her clitoris where her tonsils ought to be, Emma is a vampire who finds that she can draw blood best while going down on her victims. A couple of cops (Fred Lincoln of Last House and Ron Brown) who talk in the abbreviated, clipped style of the TV show Dragnet - or, rather in the manner of the Dragnet parody in The Little Shop of Horrors - investigate a series of mystery deaths in which male corpses are found with enormous erections and prominent smiles (for once, the UK retitling is a witty improvement). The Van Helsing figure is Silverman (Reems), who sheaths his huge penis in silver and has sex with the vampire - his organ evidently being large enough to penetrate her entire body and pierce her heart.
KIM NEWMAN

First Published In: Shivers (issue unknown)

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