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Beverly Hills Vamp (1988)

From Fred Olen Ray, the man who gave you Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers even though you didn't want it, comes this, yet another feeble entry in the post-Vamp comic vampire stakes, blending in perfectly with such mild cheapies as Once Bitten, My Best Friend is a Vampire, Vampire Knights and Teen Vamp. A trio of would-be film-makers come to Hollywood and fall in with vampire madame Britt Ekland's bevy of seductive, bloodsucking, melon-chested bimbos. Eddie Deezen, who does his usual intolerable Jerry Lewis impersonation, takes advice from priest Robert Quarry, who dutifully does an in-joke about his earlier incarnation as Count Yorga in the early '70s vampire movies, and disposes of the creatures with stake, crucifix and 'Pope soda' (holy water). The settings are notably skimped, and the film suffers from its lazy comic approach, with limp wisecracks and to-the-audience nods demonstrating that the makers aren't serious about the hackneyed storyline, but the tedious and repetitive 'action', jollied up by a ghastly Mickey Mouse score, further demonstrates that they aren't even very adept with spoofery.

First Published In: Empire (issue unknown)

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