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Alone in the Dark (2005) Though larger-scaled than House of the Dead, Uwe Boll's first video game adaptation, this is a much drearier production, an essentially pointless shoot 'em up which even makes the Resident Evil films seem coherent and sophisticated. Edward Carnby (Christian Slater), a 'paranormal investigator', is estranged from his former employers, Bureau 713 (a government department with an interest in the supernatural), who turn out to be responsible for implanting spinal slugs into some orphans who grow up to become killer zombies. The actual villain is an arrogant archaeologist (Matthew Walker) who is assembling artefacts from an ancient civilisation who unloosed demons on the Earth and got wiped out – but this mostly means that Carnby, along with his unlikely museum curator ex-girlfriend (a bespectacled Tara Reid) and a B713 gun-toter (Stephen Dorff), wander around a mineworks under the city emptying guns noisily into toothy Alien-look demon creatures. It's busy, pompous and tedious, with meaningless dollops of incomprehensible
backstory delivered between bursts of hard-to-follow action, characters
less engaging than in the video game, incidents lifted from dozens of
other films (the last shot is ripped off from The Evil Dead)
and a lot of noise. First published in this form here. Visit Kim's Official Website at www.johnnyalucard.com
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